Thursday, December 4, 2008

Many Tears Today

Today has been rather rough for this prissy Mommy! It started pretty great, actually! I skipped the gym because I had been up late spending some QT with my hottie husband and doing a some homework. My kiddos even got the hint and slept in until 9am! Holy Moly I was happy!!

We all had some breakfast, I got in a little bit of news before Bryanna started asking for cartoons, then I jumped online while my babies watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse "Mickey Saves Santa" for the 9millionth time.

I suppose it was somewhere around 10:15 that Izaiah snuck off and found an open door in the hallway, one the led straight to a mess of toys - Bryanna's room! He burst in and practically dove head first into heaven! Some days Bryanna begs me to let Izaiah play in her room with her and other days she doesn't even want him to peak inside. She was not having it today!!

Between her cries of rage I told her to get Izaiah out of her room and "close the door if you don't want him in there." My little skinny miss got behind Izaiah, picked him up under the arms and drug him into the hallway. Fighting back with all his might, Izaiah made a lunge for more toys just as Bryanna was slamming her bedroom door. What I heard was pure AGONY!

In the blink of an eye, Big Sister had closed Little Man's fingers in the door. He screamed a terrible yell as I ran him to the kitchen sink to run cool water over his smashed fingers. A million things race through your mind when home alone with two kiddos and something like this happens!! I didn't know if his fingers were broken or if I needed to get him checked out...either way, I wouldn't be able to because I looked outside and there was my husband's truck, covered in the snow that fell last night as we slumbered. Yep, he had taken the nice warm Nissan from the garage. Damn it. So I pulled myself together, dried Izaiah's (and Bryanna's) tears and just kept an eye on his little nubs. They swelled up like a couple of fat pickles and turned a painful shade of purple, along with some missing skin and a little blood, but I think he'll be alright!

With that drama in my rear view mirror, I went about my day thinking life would be honky dory! And sure enough, it was...until around 3pm. I was getting my daughter dressed to go into town with Daddy as soon as he got off work at 3:30 when my phone rang. It was Brandon (my hottie!). I couldn't form words to respond to what he was telling me. "I got my orders today. I'm going to Honduras." In my mind, I was staring at my heart that lay motionless on the floor in front of me; it had leapt from my chest in heartache. After hanging up the phone (because he was chatty with everyone in the office and paying no attention to his increasingly panicky wife) I jumped on-line and began to research.

My suspisions were quickly confirmed. Colonel Enrique Soto Cano Base in Honduras is a 1 yr remote, unaccompanied tour. Let me break it down for you: Bryanna, Izaiah and myself will not be allowed to move to Honduras with him. BRING ON THE WATER WORKS!

The base is incredibly small, 2x6 miles, owned by the Honduran government and employs a mere 550 US Air Force and Army soldiers combined. Troops live in either huts or barracks and most ride bicycles as the the AF will not ship a US vehicle to that base.

My biggest concern was being in Alaska, thousands of miles away from ANY family, alone in the cold and dark, with two babies. Panic took over and I called friends and family I knew I could lean on: my best friend Stacey, another very dear friend who is also a military wife, Jamie, and my Mommy! Through my sobs it took Stacey a minute to figure out that I was trying to say "Honduras", and as I told her all the bad news, she immediately started pointing out the positives in an effort to (at the very least) stop my tears. Jamie was also a great support, asking her husband (who is active duty AF) details that I had not gotten from Brandon. By the time I called my Mom I couldn't even speak through the tears. It must have taken me an entire minute to get out what was going on. Izaiah clung to my leg and Bryanna showered me with tissues as I fell apart.

It's now almost 8pm here in Alaska and the tears have dried (for tonight). Although I am still incredibly upset that I will have to spend 12 months without my husband, there are a few positives. To begin with, we'll be BANKIN money while he's gone. We get to add on family separation pay, along with a few other goodies! ;) I also get unlimited, uninterrupted use of the brand new Maxima, as he's not allowed to transfer a car with him! Finally, we've been informed that we can apply for our follow up base (the AF Base he will report to upon arrival home from Honduras) and that the kiddos and I can move and get settled there before he leaves in August for Central America. While there are no guarantees I am praying that this move is carried out because I truthfully don't know if I could make it another 1.5 years in Alaska!

So here is my plea for prayer!! We were certain that we would get a state-side duty next because of our sudden and unexpected transfer to Alaska (considered an over-seas tour to the military), but again, the military pulled rank and hit us with another big blow! I need something good to come from this, like a move to Langley or Tinker AFB - both near family!

From a teary-eyed priss, this is my life as a Mommy in Jeans and High Heels! *MUAH*


  1. thanks for stopping by yesterday! I appreciate all the kind comments.

  2. Geez...that is tough!! You and the kids and hubby will all survive, I am sure. I also know it will take it's toll on each of you. You all will come away with different perspectives and feelings from the separation, but that which does not kill you makes you they say...hope it is true for you and your family.
    You are young and have a lot of livin' to do! I have a senior and a junior in high school, will be 45 next month, and have an almost 3 year life has not slowed one bit!!! I separated in 2000 from my first husband and went back to school...3 years later, as a single mother, I graduated with a Psychology degree with honors, cum laude. Before I started back to school to get a Master's in Education, I hooked back up with an old college flame and long time friend and we are married and have our precious miracle boy, Jackson and to date I have not done one other thing with school or work.! Life is SO full of great and tragic twists and turns...sometimes the tricky part is knowing which you are experiencing. I say try to celebrate it all as if it were a great twist and not a tragic one! It is true what they say....positive thinking is best!! BTW, I ma an AF baby...born at Hunter Airforce Base (no closed) in Savannah, GA. MY dad was flying (pilot) out of the country when both my sister and I were born! Hang in will find the support you need!